Married? Single? What is My Vocation?

I'm lonely, brothers and sisters.  Like, really lonely.  It's not that I don't have family and friends around.  It's not that I don't have plenty of social interactions with people at work and at home.  And it's not that I feel isolated.  But, I feel a deep longing, and have been feeling it for a while now.  It comes and goes, but it is never gone for very long.  A few weeks?  A couple months?  And then it comes back again, like an old friend.

I'm not unhappy.  I want to get that out of the way.  But, I just have this feeling that something is missing, like I went out wearing shoes, but no socks, or a coat and hat, but no scarf on a crisp winter day.  It's not like I can't function without whatever it is that's missing, but it nags me, it bothers me.  Like, if that thing (scarf, socks, etc.) was here, I would be doing much better, but as it is, I'm doing just fine.

I've struggled with my vocation for years.  As a child, I actually wanted to be a nun.  Then, as I got a little older, I "discovered" boys, and the rest was history.  Only, the thing is...it wasn't.  I mean, I had plenty of gents that I was interested in, but no one really stood out in the long run.  I had one who I thought could go pretty far, and it fizzled out after a couple of years.  Of course, there's nothing wrong with dating around, but I have been looking for something that I'm just not finding, and sometimes I wonder if I'm meant to find it.

Vocations could mean married, single, or vowed religious.  So, single is a big one.  Not everyone is meant to get married.  And that's okay.  But, sometimes, I wonder if that's what God has planned for me.

I'm writing to you, brothers and sisters, to ask that you please pray for me.  And pray for everyone discerning their vocations.  For some, this comes very easily.  I like to say that I always knew my profession.  But, I don't know my vocation.  For others, they know what God is asking of them, but they may or may not want that.  It's understandable, but important to remember that God has plans bigger than anything we could conceive, and He wants us to be happy.  So, sometimes, we have to do things we might not want, because in the long run, things will be better than expected.  So, pray for vocations, that our brothers and sisters can figure out what it is that they are being called to do, and that they may have the courage to do it.

God bless,

❤ Little Sister

All Saints Day

Today, I saw St. Teresa of Calcutta.  And Saint Anthony.  And Saints Joseph, Nicholas, Patrick, and Thérèse of Lisieux.  Before you ask, no I was not hallucinating.  And no, I didn't die and go to heaven.  I was at mass for the Feast of All Saints, watching the children from my parish process up and down the aisles dressed as their patron saints.

When I was a kid, I didn't have a patron saint.  As far as I'm aware, there isn't a saint with my name.  So, we jumped to my middle name.  And I wasn't sure if there was a saint with that name either, so I got to pick a saint whose name was similar to my middle name, and chose St. Margaret Mary.

You don't realize it when you're a kid, but All Saints Day is a really big deal.  When your Little Sister was still pretty little, I remember being so excited to dress up and talk about my saint, but the day was much more than a Catholic variation of Halloween.  For those of you who don't know, Margaret Mary was the one who saw the vision of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.  For more information, you can read about her here.

The important lesson to remember today is that everyone can be a saint.  In fact, it is our duty as Christians to strive for sainthood.  Now, that might sound a bit presumptuous.  I'm going to be a saint someday certainly sounds a little cocky.  But, it's not meant like that.  Rather, we're saying I will strive for God, and to be the best person that I can possibly be, for the glory of His holy name.  What a beautiful thought!

Sainthood is not an impossible goal.  But, it is a difficult one.  The road is a bit rocky at times, and you will encounter opposition, not only from people you know and those you do not know, but from the spiritual realm as well.  Many of the great saints were plagued by demons, but they kept the faith anyway.

What I'm trying to say is that sainthood is not easy, but we can all attain it if we try our very best to stay close to God and to follow His plan for us.  All Saints Day is a yearly reminder of that privilege, gift, and grace.

And for those of you who haven't been to mass yet, don't forget--this is a Holy Day of Obligation, so you have to attend today!

"Happy" Reformation Day

So, tomorrow (October 31st) is Reformation Day for our Protestant brothers and sisters. To get into the spirit of the day, I had considered writing up a blog post with 95 defenses of the Catholic faith, but decided not to for a couple of reasons.

1. Tomorrow is Halloween, and I'll be too busy gorging myself with candy to write up 95 rebuttals to Martin Luther
2. You'll probably be too busy gorging yourselves with candy to read 95 rebuttals anyway

So, with that in mind, let's keep this short and sweet with this little meme I found online a few months back.

"Happy" Reformation Day, everyone.  And in case I don't get on here tomorrow, Happy Halloween, as well!

Hersey Made Fun!

So, I've been working out this post in my head for the past several days now.  And I thought that since I had a quiet night, it might finally be time to sit down and write it out. Back when this video first came out (2012--whaa??) a liberal Catholic friend of mine started sharing this online.  I'll admit I've listened to it quite a bit...not because I like the message, but I like the music.  After all, who didn't like "Call Me Maybe" (at least, when it first came out)?

If you haven't seen the video yet, I encourage you to take a look at it.  I promise it's short, and while the message is heresy, at least you'll enjoy the music while I get to my point.

Did you watch it?  Okay, so now, let's address a few of the more interesting points here. Within the first 30 seconds, we see two big problems.  First, our singer tells us not to listen to St. Paul (who was a very influential voice in the early Church and onward), and that she was excommunicated.  Then, around the one-minute mark, the song says that other churches are trying to get her to join, but that she's Catholic and wants to be ordained.

If you didn't catch that, let me break it down.  First of all, despite what she's saying, she is not Catholic.  After all, Catholics listen to the teaching of the Church, and she just told us about 30 seconds before to not listen to St. Paul and that she is excommunicated.  These two things show that there is a huge disconnect.  Excommunication is meant as a mercy, to call your attention in a very direct way to the fact that you are living in sin.  So, if you are excommunicated, for example, for trying to be a female priest, then it looks like the Church is trying to tell you something.  Hmm...I wonder what it is?

Also, the line about how the Pope...the leader of the Catholic Church, apostolic successor to Peter, etc...is in her way.  So, you consider yourself a Catholic and want to be a part of this Church...but you don't recognize the authority of the Pope??  Um, that's like saying I want to become a citizen of another country, but I do not accept the authority of their president/monarch/prime minister, etc.  It doesn't make sense, and honestly, it won't fly.

So, here's what I'm getting at, brothers and sisters.  This is heresy presented in a fun way.  The song, as I mentioned, is catchy, the women all seem really nice, and despite some of their comments, make it seem like they really just want what is best for everyone.  Pure intentions and all that.  But, that's not really what's going on here.

See, the devil employs tricks like this to keep us fooled.  He's not going to pop up and say, "Here's a great idea!  Support something morally wrong and lose your soul!" No one would fall for that.  Instead, he candy-coats it.  Makes it look fun.  It's like the evil queen in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.  She doesn't come in her true form, hiding nothing.  She doesn't try to kill Snow outright without resorting to tricks.  "Here, eat this handful of fertilizer" or "Here's a little bottle with a skull and crossbones on it--drink up!"  Instead, she presents Snow with a delicious apple that looks tempting but is meant to kill her.  So, the devil uses flashy ways to make something seem innocent or fun and then uses it to trap us.

This song is just another example of that.  It's a shiny red apple that suggests that nothing could possibly go wrong. Don't fall for it.  Heresy is never as delicious as it looks.

The Gift of Plants

I love houseplants.  In fact, I currently have five, mostly succulents.  I can spend hours just taking care of these little babies, whether I'm performing basic maintenance, or shopping for new pots or plants to add to my cramped windowsill.

Why am I talking about this?  Well, because every day, I am amazed by the wonders that God has created for us in the form of plants.  There are so many ways these beautiful creations benefit us, from food and medicine to air purification and beauty.  My plants do not provide me with any food or medicine, but just seeing them makes me feel so happy, and I swear the air in my office space is fresher every day.  Supposedly, working with plants helps you to reduce stress levels, too, and I certainly have been calmer ever since setting up my tiny menagerie.  When things are getting stressful, I just take a 15 minute break to water my plants, pick off any dead leaves, and make sure everything is good.

Our Father created all these things for us to enjoy.  What a blessing to have so much opportunity for beauty in our lives.  Here's the thing: the devil likes to keep us busy so that we don't have time to enjoy these gifts.  If we're always running around like crazy, stressing out over little things, causing a ruckus, we don't have time to appreciate the gifts God has given us.  Spending fifteen minutes a day with my plants is a small way of taking that time back for myself and for God.

My challenge for you is to take the time to find a plant to love.  You don't have to buy one if you don't think you can take care of it (although, it is easy to find a plant for almost every living situation).  If you're not interested in a plant of your own, take the time to admire the beauty outdoors, whether it's a tree or a bush or a patch of flowers.  Don't let the devil keep you distracted.  Find the beauty in God's creation.  He made it with you in mind.

I'm Back!

First, I'd like to say sorry for my long hiatus.  I was blocked out of my account, because Google thought someone had tried to hack me--with my own password.  That someone was me.  Trying to access my account from a different computer than normal.  *Groan*

Anyways, after months of trying to get back into the account, struggling with requests that I give up my phone number (which eliminates my anonymous nature on this blog, etc.), I finally managed to get back in.  So, thank you for your patience.

Second, I would like to wish a Happy Father's Day to all fathers out there, from my own earthly father, my godfather, grandfathers, and uncles, as well as my adopted spiritual father, St. Joseph, and of course, our Father in Heaven.  I would also like to extend these well-wishes to all fathers outside of my family, and especially to those who are struggling in Purgatory.

A lot has happened since we last were in contact.  I have gotten my dream job, revisited an old passion for plants (I hope to write about this at a later date), and today, while in line to receive Holy Eucharist, discovered that our parish's new seminarian is incredibly cute, which of course could be a whole issue in and of itself.

Ah...it's good to be back!

REVIEW: Mother Angelica: Her Grand Silence

I recently finished reading an amazing book.  For those of you who missed this post's title, this book was called Mother Angelica: Her Grand Silence.  It's a powerful and moving biography of an amazing woman.  Mother Angelica has been one of the most outspoken and influential women in the Church in the last century, and while I'm not a part of the committee that may one day determine her sainthood, I can say without fear of contradiction that this is one individual who certainly lived a saintly life.  I believe one day, we will see a Saint Angelica.  One day, all of her sacrificing, prayers, and suffering will culminate with one more saint in our midst.

The book covers most of the end of Mother's life.  Author Raymond Arroyo actually wrote another biography of Mother, which details the earlier portion of her life.  I have not had the chance to read it, but it will be on my to-read list for sure.  However, while all of Mother's life was a beautiful tribute to the God she discovered as a teen, for me, it was the end of her life which touched such a chord.

I have been trying to write about this for a while, but I just can't get the words to come out.  My grandmother has been sick for a long time, and is slowly passing away.  There have been times when I honestly believed that she was going to die, but each time, God brings her back to us.  I've been struggling with things, because I watch her suffering, and while I know there is a divine plan, I find it difficult to understand why a woman who is so sweet and loving, and so faithful to God would be made to suffer like this.  This book made me understand.

I understand now that pain and suffering is meant as a means of cleansing.  Suffering allows us to have a deeper relationship with God.  It forces us to be humble, it crushes our pride, and it makes us rely more deeply on Him.  It also acts as a spiritual cleansing for others.  Suffering allows us to sacrifice for the good of the souls of others.  When we are made to suffer, it is God reaching out to us and showing us His mercy.

I recommend all of you read this book, no matter your creed, situation, or current thoughts on religion.  Just read it and allow Mother to reach out to you as she has reached out to so many people, and how she has reached out to your little sister here; as she has reached out to me.

I'll leave you with this video.  This is from World Youth Day 1993, where the Stations of the Cross featured a pantomime with a female actor playing the role of Jesus.  Why am I sharing this?  Because this is the first time I had really seen Mother Angelica get angry; a righteous anger.  And every time I watch this video, I feel a fire stirred up inside of me, and I want to be just like her.  I hope that you feel the same.

God bless you all,


❤ Little Sister