Married? Single? What is My Vocation?

I'm lonely, brothers and sisters.  Like, really lonely.  It's not that I don't have family and friends around.  It's not that I don't have plenty of social interactions with people at work and at home.  And it's not that I feel isolated.  But, I feel a deep longing, and have been feeling it for a while now.  It comes and goes, but it is never gone for very long.  A few weeks?  A couple months?  And then it comes back again, like an old friend.

I'm not unhappy.  I want to get that out of the way.  But, I just have this feeling that something is missing, like I went out wearing shoes, but no socks, or a coat and hat, but no scarf on a crisp winter day.  It's not like I can't function without whatever it is that's missing, but it nags me, it bothers me.  Like, if that thing (scarf, socks, etc.) was here, I would be doing much better, but as it is, I'm doing just fine.

I've struggled with my vocation for years.  As a child, I actually wanted to be a nun.  Then, as I got a little older, I "discovered" boys, and the rest was history.  Only, the thing is...it wasn't.  I mean, I had plenty of gents that I was interested in, but no one really stood out in the long run.  I had one who I thought could go pretty far, and it fizzled out after a couple of years.  Of course, there's nothing wrong with dating around, but I have been looking for something that I'm just not finding, and sometimes I wonder if I'm meant to find it.

Vocations could mean married, single, or vowed religious.  So, single is a big one.  Not everyone is meant to get married.  And that's okay.  But, sometimes, I wonder if that's what God has planned for me.

I'm writing to you, brothers and sisters, to ask that you please pray for me.  And pray for everyone discerning their vocations.  For some, this comes very easily.  I like to say that I always knew my profession.  But, I don't know my vocation.  For others, they know what God is asking of them, but they may or may not want that.  It's understandable, but important to remember that God has plans bigger than anything we could conceive, and He wants us to be happy.  So, sometimes, we have to do things we might not want, because in the long run, things will be better than expected.  So, pray for vocations, that our brothers and sisters can figure out what it is that they are being called to do, and that they may have the courage to do it.

God bless,

❤ Little Sister